


First Anger Then Remorse

by Tarlan



Series: One Way Ticket [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Community: fanfic100, M/M, Plot What Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-25
Updated: 2006-09-25
Packaged: 2017-10-21 00:40:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/219022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney thinks he has destroyed his relationship with Jack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Anger Then Remorse

**Author's Note:**

> Someone mentioned that they thought Jack and Rodney's relationship in _One Way Ticket_ was too smooth and I replied that, due to the time jumps between certain parts, it wasn't possible to show any conflicts but that I would address at least one in a ficlet. So...here it is...set just a couple of weeks into their relationship :-)  
>  Written for _Prompt 003. Ends_ (Fanfic100 challenge).

The first time they argued, Rodney thought it was all over between them because that was the way it always went with his relationships. A few weeks of awe and wonder where he could do no wrong, and then the honeymoon period was over and his partner started to notice all his faults once more, as if he had intentionally hidden them.

He believed it would be no different with Jack, seizing each day with both hands because he knew it could not be long before the rose-tinted glasses came off and Jack looked at him through the reality lens. He was petty and arrogant, prone to complaining and whining about everything, paranoid about his health and yet incapable of dragging himself off his backside to exercise despite Jack's prompting and Sheppard's threats. His table manners were atrocious--though he really did try not to talk with his mouth full--and his treatment of others bordered on abusive.

Oh yes, there was nothing new in the character assassination that fell from a mouth equally as sarcastic as his own. Of course, Rodney was so petty he could not afford to be bested by Jack's snide remarks, sending a few barbed comments back that steam-rolled over his lover.

Brainless grunt, who refused to grow up, lackadaisical, self-serving, pathetic...and just to be really cruel, he called him a cripple. Of course, Rodney had not been referring to the damaged knee that kept Jack on Atlantis rather than out in the field on a gate team but rather on his suppressed mental state. It was a low blow, one that widened the brown eyes into revealing a world of pain before they hardened, Jack's mouth becoming a tight, implacable line.

It was silent then but not the companionable silence found after they had made love. Not the warm silence broken only by the gentle brush of a hand over skin and the slowing beat of Jack's heart beneath Rodney's ear as their breathing moved from gasps of pleasure to soft sighs of contentment. The silence was cold and empty, like the death knell of love.

What made it worse was that, with all their differences, including the military versus the scientific mindset, the argument had started over a simple game of hockey that they had watched twice before. It was as if the dam had burst wide open, letting every fear and every minor transgression of character or action flow right out of them. Jack had limped out of their quarters with shoulders stiff, back straight, and without a backwards glance, leaving Rodney standing in the center of the spacious living room alone. Behind him, the game played on unnoticed, as if it belonged in another dimension that was beyond human measure where even the roar of the crowd failed to drown out the ominous closing of the door.

Realization set in almost immediately, anger giving way to horror, shame and remorse but the damage was done. He could not unsay all the terrible things he had flung at Jack nor could he erase the memory of the flaws thrown into his own face with such anger. Rodney sank to the couch, fingers brushing its soft surface in fond memory of times snuggled up against Jack as they watched some inane comedy like _The Simpsons_ for Jack's sake, or the latest episodes of _Doctor Who_ sent via the _Daedalus_ to please him. He glanced around the empty room, seeing all the signs of cohabitation that would be erased within days, possibly even hours. Jack's spare boots were an untidy heap in the corner, Rodney's stack of scientific papers was spread across the table alongside numerous disks and electronic components. Jack's telescope was just visible through the balcony door; the one Rodney had made for him only four days ago when Jack insisted that he liked star gazing the old-fashioned way rather than watching a computer screen in some laboratory deep inside the city.

When the door opened suddenly, minutes or even hours later, Rodney lifted his head in a mixture of fear and hope, only to feel any hope crushed when Daniel stepped into the room. He had wanted it to be Jack, wanted to tell him how sorry he was, and how he would try to do better, how he would try to be the person Jack needed if he would only give him a second chance.

Daniel sank down onto the couch beside him, brushing shoulders and staring at the screen for a moment, forcing Rodney's attention towards it. The game had ended at some point and given way to American football. Daniel reached for the remote, plunging the room into total silence.

"He loves you."

Rodney huffed. "Not any more."

"Don't be so sure of that," Daniel murmured, dropping a hand on Rodney's knee and squeezing it gently.

"I said some things..."

Daniel laughed softly. "You think he hasn't heard it all before?"

"Not from me."

"Yeah. There is that."

"If I could take all the words back I would." Inspiration struck and he lifted his head to stare deep into Daniel's eyes. "I mean, I _could_ take them back if I find Janus's time equations and fitted another Puddlejumper with the time apparatus. Set it to just a few hours ago and--"

"Miss all the cuddling?"

Rodney snapped his head round at the sound of Jack's voice, seeing him standing on the threshold of the living space. Sheppard stood just a little way behind him, eyes fixing on Daniel for a moment, and delivering a message that Daniel seemed to read intuitively. Rodney barely noticed Daniel rising and walking away, closing the door behind him and Sheppard to leave Rodney alone with Jack.

"You'd build a time machine just for me? Even though I started..." He waved a hand, "...This."

"I-I realize I'm not the most sensitive of people. I know I can be petty and--"

Jack had crossed the room as he spoke, leaning over Rodney and pushing two fingers against his lips to shush him. "Knew all that before we got together." He winced. "Hard not to." He blew out his cheeks. "Look. I'm not good at this..." he waved a hand around. "...Emotional...stuff."

"Though it pains me to admit that I'm not a genius at everything..." Rodney gave a half-hearted, self-deprecating smile.

Jack flopped onto the couch next to him. "Wanna watch the game again?"

"I...No. Not really."

"Wanna have make-up sex instead? I hear it's pretty good."

"Oh? Who told you that? Sheppard?"

"Possibly." He glanced sideways at Rodney. "Daniel might have mentioned it too."

"Like either of them would know anything about..."

Moments later they were kissing, and Rodney did not have the slightest idea of who had made the first move but he didn't care. All he knew was the longed for taste of Jack's lips, and of his strong yet gentle hands holding him once more while Rodney wrapped his arms around the firm body, pulling Jack closer, fingers burrowing beneath clothing, desperate to free buttons and zippers. He half-sighed, half-sobbed into the warm mouth, silently offering up thanks to all the gods he didn't believe in that he had gained a reprieve this time.

They made love almost frantically and yet with reverence too, as if neither had expected to have the pleasure of touching and holding the other ever again. Lips worshiped naked flesh while hands tried to caress every inch of skin, tried to map out every contour, every line, wanting to store it all in memory.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Rodney mumbled over and over between hard kisses and soft caresses, rocking his body against his lover, skin sliding over sweat-slicked skin as they found the perfect rhythm that took Rodney soaring, body going into free fall as his senses overloaded. Only later, when the heat of their spent climax began to cool into a sticky mess between their close-pressed, half-naked bodies, did Rodney pull away with a moue of distaste pursing his lips. Jack simply chuckled, knowing Rodney was like a finicky cat after the haze of good sex had passed.

They cleaned off together in silence, exchanging covert looks and silly grins before settling into bed together, limbs entwined. The slowing beat of Jack's heart and his hesitant words stole away the last of Rodney's fears. He drew in a deep, slow breath through his nose, luxuriating in the scent of his lover and the knowledge that, despite all his flaws, Jack still wanted him, still loved him. Deep down, Rodney knew that his own insecurities had fueled this argument, hardly able to believe that someone as renowned and handsome as General Jack O'Neill, the epitome of an intergalactic space jock, would want some pissy, arrogant nerd for a lover when he could pick and choose among a thousand worlds and two galaxies. Make that three galaxies for even the Asgard loved the man. What he had not counted on was Jack having his own set of insecurities, afraid that someone who could almost run rings around the Ancients could possibly stay interested in him.

"You know this won't be our last fight," Jack stated. "But as long as we don't forget to make up afterwards, I'm happy to take the bad with the good."

Rodney grinned, kissing the furred chest beneath his lips, and snuggled up even closer to Jack, for once having nothing left to say.

THE END


End file.
